***WARNING: This post may contain offensive language. Reader discretion is advised.***
123 Fo Shizzle remains the only undefeated team in the league after a narrow victory over a Rooster Cogburn team suddenly bereft of star QB Michael Vick. Last week Comissioner Campbell had tough criticisms for a team he thought was riding the coattails of luck to the top spot. This week Fo Shizzle coach David Hal Campbell sat down with me to share some harsh words of his own for the league commissioner.
JM: Last week Commissioner Jeff Campbell predicted you would soon find yourself at the bottom of the pack. He said you’ve just been getting lucky.
DHC: It smacks of jealousy. He’s been looking at by backside for a couple of years now so it’s probably getting old. Jeff’s known for this kind of douche-baggery. It’s a French word. It means shower bag…ery.
JM: When I talked to Jeff last week he emphasized how the key to doing well was researching players and knowing exactly what is going on in the league. How do you think you compare to him on that front?
DHC: Jeff fancies himself as quite the fantasy footballer. For a while there he was doing the most research and so had the edge and now I’ve done the research. I have a master’s degree so I learned how to do proper academic research that transfers to the fantasy football league.
JM: Last week Jeff called Rooster Cogburn “the team to beat.” What do you think of coach Colin Campbell?
DHC: Traitor. The theif. He stole Michael Vick. Vick’s pretty much my idol. I thought no one would dare take him because it’s kind of well known he’s my player. Because of that [Colin Campbell] is cursed. Vick injured himself. Took one for the team and sabotaged that game.
JM: Do you think you won because Michael Vick was injured?
DHC: I know I won because Michael Vick got injured. I won by 25 points and Michael Vick gets 50 points a game. You do the math.
JM: Who do you think is the team to beat, then, besides you?
DHC: It’s kind of hard to see who’s behind you. We just look in front of us, and there’s no one there. Clear as saline.
JM: Jeff attributed your winning streak to luck. Has your luck run out?
DHC: I don’t know, I’m 4-0. Does it seem like it’s run out?
JM: Why do you think Jeff was so outspoken with his criticisms of your team?
DHC: I think Jeff overemphasizes his importance. I think the power of the commissioner has gotten to his head. I might have to end that pretty soon. We’re playing each other this week so we’ll see him on the field.
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